I’m in my streak of gray hair era.

My I’m almost 40 era. It’s my trying to embrace aging era. Also known as my frantically googling skincare products era. My advanced maternal age era and my please, God, let this baby stay with us era. (But let’s face it, I’ve been in that era many times before.) It’s my side braid, limited makeup, jogger pants and tight tops and cute cardigans era.

It’s my we just moved and I’m overwhelmed by the mess in the garage era. My I don’t know where to start era. My one step at a time era. My #momguilt era, which is kind of every era, but right now it’s because I’m always a little tired and I have too much to do and I’m irritated easily. It’s my I promise I’ll do better soon era.

This is my Daily Harvest smoothies and homemade spa water era. My achy hands and please rub my feet era. It’s my not loving the look of my body right now but knowing nothing is permanent era. My caring less about how I look era. My caring less about what others think of me era. (But it’s also my crying over Voxer because we made the neighbors mad era.) My learning to finally use my voice era. My I’m trying to accept who I am right now era.

And no one will be surprised when I say it’s my fernweh forever era. (That’s a real word. Look it up.) It’s my I need to plan my next adventure era. My I can’t wait to go era. My vacations big and small and my let’s take just one kid era. And my favorite – my let’s fly to London on a whim era. 

It’s been a work in progress, but I think I’m finally in my letting go of what I can’t control era. My giving it to God era. My not holding onto anything too tightly era and my appreciating the magic of the unexpected era. Translation: I’m in my surrender and feel free era.

It’s my giving the benefit of the doubt era. My I believe you era. My be soft and gentle era. My I forgive you and love you era. And my I forgive myself and love me era.

You could also call it my I’m growing into someone I kind of like era.